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The e-zine for all those who are not dead yet!

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LET ME NOT DIE AN OLD GIRL'S DEATH

let me not die an old girl's death not in a rocking chair
doesn't she look peaceful like that death not a curtains drawn
with the sun going down in black armbands death
nor laid out cold in the front room with background organ music
and me stiff as the pipes
no father o'leary giving me the last rites
(when I didn't ever have any rights in the first place) and not
between the starched sheets in a smells-of-pee nursing home
calling softly I'm coming to join you fred death
(& him thin as a rake by then anyway)
no blessing in the end death or propped up with pillows
so's I could look out over the yard and see the two pigs
rummaging through the rubbish death
no mrs swift from next door & all the other neighbours
downstairs making tea and drinking whisky
while I'm up there gasping my last breath

and I don't want a holier than thou and free from sin
surrounded by candles and wilting flowers death either
with kind last minute words to people I never liked anyway
none of their noisy children coming to say a last goodbye to me
when I couldn't stand the sight of them while I was alive death

let me go out when I'm a hundred and four gnashing my gums
conducting loud beautiful music (beethoven would be good )
flashing my painted fingernails & overthetop dyed hair
smoking cigarettes that are bad for my health
while drinking french cognac & me singing and kicking
and showing everybody my bright red knickers

PAULA McKAY



from the author's collection Travelling Incognito (Five Islands Press, 2003)

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This page last updated: 10th January 2010.